With many of the places around seen during our previous sojourns we were happy staying home rather than brave out in hot weather which we come across outdoors these days here. Preoccupied, there was no question of ourselves reaching out to near and dear ones even as they were all busy with life meeting day to day schedule of routine works their own and priorities. It is a matter of few hours to spare and be with it but taking out time was the major concern. Long due with months together already here, ourselves not in a position to reach them so far nor see any such possibility in near future too. Staying home did help us some way as many came visiting from far and wide each weekend. Appreciate much those who acknowledged our position and deferred meeting to a future date unknown. Cordiality in relations is, however, maintained by talking over the phone which is easy these days, if one cares. Such a formality is not necessary if there is well understanding between the two. Reciprocal visits add fun and/or eases of what becomes otherwise - always at the receiving end. We could not term it as inconvenience straight away yet it was if comes often. Simple it might seem but not so - could be the age factor that was taking a toll or was it our health to incapacitate us entertaining all the while. Not in habit of talking much otherwise also in our nature, we often find mere being courteous even as a formality, a tiring exercise. Zeal and enthusiasm not lacking as before but energy comes on our way sometimes making us feel sluggish. Unable to understand but undeniable that something was lacking in us to be as good as before. This was not the age to enjoy all the good things coming late for us in spite of best of intentions rather longings all the life. Such realities of life one cannot escape but face whatever came our way as a matter of fact simply to name it as fate. Much attention and time all diverted to the little one as she deserved more and more as she grew day by day in order to enjoy the bliss of being grandparents.
 
Weekend means visiting places nearby to unwind for the days ahead until the next weekend came again but not much with us this time. We were kept indoors most of the time with the baby taking much of our attention, love and care as well naturally. Whatever little spare time came to our hands was utilized in visiting some shopping malls if not places of interest nearby like Chester Springs Creamery that gave much needed glimpse of farm life for the people here who were not acquainted with such rural life. Children had access to and fun time playing with animals like cow, goat, sheep, poultry, etc. but could also see the fruits and vegetables grown there. Thereafter you could have the taste of yummy ice-creams made from milk obtained and named after each of the cow there. You could also buy some fresh organic  eggs, fruits and green vegetables as well.
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In one such weekend was the visit of our relatives from Gangtok who had come to meet their son in New York City. Apart from visiting his cousin Sundari spending her days with daughter  Urwashi and son-in-law Bikash near Philadelphia, they thought it worthwhile to drop in to our place also as a part of their itinerary. It was Urwashi who had earlier invited  Rachna-Vimal  home for dinner one weekend and to their utter surprise that turned out to be the first baby shower with friends like Dr. Manjari Moktan from Mirik, Christine P. Bhutia from Kalimpong, Lhakpa Lhamu from Gangtok besides others there. Sundari and Urwashi-Bikash were later with us when Bindiya, Priya and friends had another surprise function of baby shower for Rachna soon after we arrived here. Soon thereafter Sundari with Urwashi-Bikash came to our place and had informed that Shanti Daju and Sabitri Bhauju with elder son Gyanendra were coming to the US to see their younger son Dr. Anup. They would be visiting them and interested to meet us all here. Thus it was a great family get-together away from our homeland. Since they had a plan to see Washington D.C. next day, early dinner was in mind but stayed on to reach back home late night. Long summer day with sunset around 8.30 p.m. we could not believe that they were here all that long and our meeting was full of fun and joy to share together its memories to treasure lifelong!
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Shanti Daju and Sabitri Bahuju had recently been enjoying life much visiting places back home nearby Kalimpong-Darjeeling as well as Guwahati-Shillong . They stopped at New Delhi for a couple of days en-route to the US and in return journey at Dubai. Anup was surprised of not having met at all before in Gangtok and asked his father since how long  we knew each other. Right from our school days was the answer. Shanti Daju from Underground Villa and me from Happy Cottage and Development Area/Gangtok used to be sparsely populated those days. Going to the same school and playing on the same playground in front of our residence in 1950s we had many reminiscences from our student life to share about. Later on in pursuing our own life and career, we used to meet sometimes  but more often in social gatherings. He was the person to be seen attending most of the social functions and familiar with many of our relatives in both side of the Teesta. He seemed to be the connecting link between the Newar families there in Sikkim as well as outside in Darjeeling Hills. When I mentioned this to him and enquired whether he still continued the same way like in good old days, he said that age and health did not permit it any more. I best remember Chandra Jyoti Daju* (more popularly known as CJ) of Melli-Kerabari from the other side who similarly used to be seen attending in such social functions often.He left us soon after his trip to Nepal attending one of his social obligations as he had not been keeping well of late that took him to New Delhi where he breathe his last. He was an amiable and charming personality. We met him last at Namthang Kothi attending the wedding of  Dharma Pratap's son - the scion of Rai Saheb Bal Krishna Pradhan better known for his fabled "Baburamko baja". CJ was known since our school days when he worked for sometime with the Sikkim Mining Corporation at Rangpo in 1960s. He used to invite us to his place whenever we met and could make it once when returning together after attending our sister Chanda's daughter Alka at Melli Danra. During my posting as the District Collector (South) in Namchi, I had the rare opportunity to visit and pay respect to Bhuwan Prasad Pradhan* at Shumbhuk Kothi and to CJ Daju at Kerabari first time with my parents. My Muma remembers Bhuwan Daju to be similarly a person in days of yore as the connecting link between the family of Taksari Chandrabir Pradhan at Rhenock and that of Taksari Lakshmi Das Pradhan on the other side of the Teesta since he used to visit Rai Saheb Ratna Bahadur Pradhan* quite often to seek his valued advice on personal matters as well. Their outstanding contributions immense together in making what Sikkim is today might have gone into oblivion but their name and fame had spread out far and wide like the fragrance from the flowers of the fabled Chandra Nursery the world over. I would not be fair  without a line in tribute remembering the contribution also of Moti Chand Pradhan* and Rai Saheb Hari Prasad Pradhan* on land both sides of the Teesta while that of the latter beyond to the neighbouring kingdom of Nepal in 1950s. He is much remembered even today for his landmark contributions laying foundation of the judiciary system during King Tribhuvan's tenure being invited on recommendation of the prime minister Bisheshwar Prasad Koirala* and later appointed as the first Chief Justice by King Mahendra.
 
It would be interesting to share here an anecdote when Bikash posted a picture of Urwashi carrying the baby as his Facebook status next day. His friends started congratulating them for being blessed with a baby. Matter settled down only after he clarified whose baby she was with. Such  misunderstanding also happened with another family visiting us who posted similarly on his Facebook page. That too needed a clarification to stop the flood of congratulatory remarks. While posting on Facebook a word or two in description could have helped avoid/save from such an awkward situation and to know the place visited as well!

Disclaimer: This is author’s personal account of memories updated to cherish and treasure often on a detour here and there en route to share the joy of the journey called life. Some names (*asterisk for those no more), quotes, places and events mentioned are just to connect with and no malice whatsoever intended. He can be reached at [email protected]. His latest "The Newars World~Wide Connecting the Dots : Sikkim" is available at Rachna Books.

To break the monotony, rather out of fondness we take baby out for a drive. Otherwise also, she has to visit pediatrician for routine check up as we are keen to know if everything going on well for her. Growth being the major concern which is a natural process that takes its own course, but we are curious to know if baby is gaining weight and height. Apparently she is as we find some of her garments and socks suddenly gone small and pyjamas shorter. Yet a weekly visit for checking the weight only could well be taken care of by bringing a weighing scale home to keep a close watch after bath almost daily. Accurate is the weighing but for measuring the height we trust the clinic as we think it being not done correctly with body or the measuring tape not stretched properly. It was quite heartening to hear from the doctor baby had grown like a champ in past one month. We could also see the difference physically as well. Every little change in behaviour is so interesting when she follows things shown or sound from rattles. But the most to charm her way best is little smile she gives back in response to make my day without forgetting the cute protruding mouth for the feed she needs every time she feels hungry. This makes me rush to her mamma before baby gets angry! 

New mother checks app in her cellphone whether it is time to feed with last done noted. I tell her growing baby needs feeding more frequently as and when her body demands and need not necessarily be every two hours or so. It depends if baby emptied her bowel or even before sleeping little feed needed to satisfy and comfort of mother's lap. When she gives me back, baby opens her eyes  a little to see who the person carrying her. Behaviours like this and her alertness getting disturbed even from little sound makes me believe that Mother Nature has gifted her sharp intelligence being a good girl all the while otherwise. The  app is useful to keep the record of baby growing with each event right from feeding with quantity and/or time taken to pooping with colour and consistency.
 
Another app her father  uses helps make baby sleep. It is all music pleasing to the ears but not as effective as mother's lullaby and the best which she picked up from her mother very recently only. Phupu loves to sing "Chanda hai tu, Mera suraj hai tu..." another lovely number by Lata (Aradhana 1969 S. D. Burman, Anand Bakshi) whenever she is with the baby. Simply humming is often found doing magic when baby really needs a sleep. Otherwise, talk to baby when awake and enjoy how she responds if in mood.
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There are many useful baby products available online to make parents happy more than baby herself. Besides an attachment with some colourful toys, light and music to keep busy while in the crib, outside she can be put in a sleeper with vibration that lull baby to sleep. Even a little gym is there to strike the piano rid to play different musical notes each time baby hits it while moving her legs cycling.It also has a mirror hung above an arch with some toys swinging. Mirror is believed to help baby improve recognitive quality by reflection while back home traditionally showing a mirror is supposed to delay her talking ability rather turn dumb. Mother herself fond of reading, her baby too has a good collection of little and miniature books held with book-ends on the table to start the library. Besides 'First 100 Words' and 'Baby Touch and  Feel :  Animals', popular titles like 'The Very Hungry Caterpillar', 'Snow White' and 'Sleeping Beauty' are also included. Reading aloud  a book to  baby from very early age helps in many ways. As per kidshealth.org "benefits of Reading aloud - a. teaches a baby about communication. b. introduces concepts such as numbers, letters, colors, and shapes in a fun way. c. builds listening, memory, and vocabulary skills. d. gives babies information about the world around them."
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As a baby-seat in the car is mandatory and the law is - "Children under age 4 must be properly secured in a child restraint system in the rear seat, if possible. They must then ride in a booster seat until they turn 8, weigh more than 80 lbs., or are taller than 4 feet 9 inches. Violation of the child restraint law is a standard offense." The rule is - "All children whose weight or height exceeds the forward-facing limit for their car seat should use a belt-positioning booster seat until the vehicle seat belt fits properly, typically when they have reached 4 feet 9 inches in height and are 8 through 12 years of age." Seat is rear facing helps see someone beside till the age of four and thereafter front facing so that mother can see on the mirror while driving the car herself. She can drive a car two weeks after the delivery. Here the company she works for allowed maternity leave of six weeks and another two weeks more for facilitated delivery while paternity leave was just two weeks only. Both the parents take class on parenting and also  learn how to give a bath to the baby and change a diaper. 

My online search led me to the article "These 10 countries have the best parental leave policies in the world" mentioning "America does plenty of things well, but paid parental leave isn't one of them. Out of the world's 196 countries, the US is one of only four that has no federally mandated policy to give new parents paid time off. That burden is placed on individual states and employers. But some countries really prioritize the well-being of new parents — both straight and same-sex — granting them more than a year of leave at full pay. If you're thinking of starting a family, here are the ideal places to call home...." Finland, Denmark, Sweden and most of the European countries made the list. Further, fortune.com said "India’s New Maternity Leave Policy Puts the U.S. / rest of the world to Absolute Shame.  - India's new 26 weeks of paid maternity leave surpasses France's 16-week leave and easily bests the 14 weeks available in Germany and Japan. If India was an OECD country it would rank sixth, alongside Israel and Poland, for longest paid leave. Only the U.K., Greece, Ireland, the Slovak Republic and the Czech Republic offer new mothers more paid time off." United Kingdom (52), Greece (43), Ireland (42), Slovak Republic (34) and Czech Republic (28) comes before India, Israel and Poland with 26 weeks and next is Hungary (24) while the USA (0) last.

Life returns to normal with mother back-to-work earliest making colleagues happy asking when she was bringing  baby to meet them. Baby is given to baby care whole day if parents can not afford some other arrangement home like caring grand parents or otherwise. Along with the car-seat a stroller helps a lot to take baby easily while moving around for shopping or other errands besides evening walk. When we had brought a perambulator/pram from New Delhi for our baby now a proud mother, it was something new to flaunt in the community. Seeing the one now used, in which the car-seat also fits in, that seems to be mere a prototype  yet quite functional enough to lull baby to sleep inside at night. Here some people take baby for a drive to make her sleep even at night. No need as we find our baby improved a lot in recent days. What more one could wish but pray the baby a smooth flow with passage of every moment of life to bring the best out for all of us so blessed!

Disclaimer: This is author’s personal account of memories updated to cherish and treasure often on a detour here and there en route to share the joy of the journey called life. Some names (*asterisk for those no more), quotes, places and events mentioned are just to connect with and no malice whatsoever intended. He can be reached at [email protected]. His latest "The Newars World~Wide Connecting the Dots : Sikkim" is available at Rachna Books.

Life has not been  the same ever since we were blessed with the baby to keep us busy most part of the day and night as well. With her comes the memories back to our younger days when we had our kids born to fill our world with joy. Those were the days when life was not as complex as we find it today. With our knowledge limited to whatever read little about the parenthood but much learnt more with own experience handling the situation as it came before us. With information galore to be accessed over the internet at the click of the mouse these days, sometimes present day parents found them yet not enough to cope with the little problems cropping up every now and then each passing day. Parenthood is not just bearing a child or two but facing every little issue that comes up with in the phase of life just entered into. Rearing the baby up with enough care and love coming through the challenges brought along before the young parents is not simple and easy. Overcoming little nuances of the life with success brings confidence and courage within to face the rest ahead. Best way,  therefore,  was to cross the bridge as we came across.

Seeing the little bundle of joy immense makes me wonder how the Mother Nature has given the creatures including we human beings the power of procreation. It is equally surprising to find that the newborn soon to be resembling her parent in features in a unique way sometimes, that too so perfectly. That might be the reason many ask which of the parent baby resembles to and later as s/he grows we compare after whom goes in behaviour or characteristic features. Even it makes her grandma believe she is like herself as a baby. When this baby came to our world, the most remarkable thing to know that she was not with usual wrinkle-like rawness in face and had eye-lashes long with hair in black and plenty to catch my attention first. Each day the new born grew different to look at as many say but slowly and gradually she started learning to cope with life in her own little way. Taking on each day as it comes with which she entered to have a place of her own in this world. She announced her arrival crying loud and fists closed to surge ahead with time, the future unknown. First thing a baby knows is to suck from her mother's breast oozing with maternal bliss that first few minutes giving all the strength and immunity that a new life needs coming here. No need was there to feed the baby with glucose water though water itself is not given for six months. Soon thereafter she gets a bath to cleanse herself to take life all afresh crying though for next feed needed to recoup the energy spent thus. Welcomed to her family with purification and initiation rituals, all congratulating the happy mother as well as proud father whose long time dream together comes true to life at last!
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It was a surprise indeed to notice only recently that she already started smiling back when prompted. That wonderful moment we had been looking forward from the little bundle of joy to fill our heart immense. Little princess has of late been playful too as she enjoys feed leisurely - sometimes more out of thirst than actual hunger. What a noise otherwise creates when she is really hungry giving us no time to heat the milk frozen mother has pumped out  to meet such an exigency when she is away. Sometimes at night sudden cry quite baffles what all went wrong with her system. Could be the colic pain she gets trying digest the feed that comes out in reflux occasionally. A lot of uneasiness that even disturbs the father equally surprised with the accuracy baby wakes up of her own when it is time for next feed. She starts gurgling noise moving her hands furiously to wake up mother from sleep. By this time her mittens found  sucked little wet. During the day when awake she looks face lit up bright and mouth pouted up indicating she wants to be fed. Little delay  in changing the diaper makes her uncomfortable, furious and frustrated even. Once fed to her satisfaction with a burp or two out brings her soon to have another round of sleep but not before some time to play if she wishes. Such is the marvel Mother Nature bestowed in us. Sleep brings all the things to rest to refill our life with energy bringing in much needed vigour and zest in us for the next thing challenging to face rejuvenated. It is most difficult time when the baby cries continuously at night and every effort seems to have failed to pacify her. Much patience and effort is equally needed to make her sleep. Everyone tries his/her own way for baby to sleep. My friend Mani* used to make the new mother herself as a little baby sleep singing the melody "Aao tumhe chand pe le jayen, pyar bhare sapane sajayen, chhota sa bangla banayen, ek nayi duniya basayen..." (Lata Mangeshkar, Zakhmee 1975 Bappi Lahiri, Gauhar Kanpuri.) It is a Christmas song new father exclaims as the song has tagline "Jingle bell, jingle bell ..." as well. Same song besides other lullaby of Nepali nursery rhymes including her own composition grandmother sings for this baby to sleep. Even mother finds baby doing magic out of her grandfather as he started humming and not so lucky herself hearing him ever before. So worried with baby's crying at night, with no option left we resort trying some traditional way to ward off evil eye unknown that might have been the reason behind such a disturbing behaviour. Some might say such a step superstitious but it helps sometimes, others opine.
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To be continued next week

​Since the bundle of joy immense came to our life out of the wedlock uniting a Newar and a Nair family, the couple had well planned to make the joyous moment blessed by customs and rituals of the both the sides. While the Newars have many rituals to rejoice the occasion right from the news coming of daughter's conception with Dhau-Baji Nakegu/Dahi-Chiura Khuwaune we started with followed by that of tenth day with sixth day combined making it simple. Baby's name was decided well before by the mother as her prerogative - she being after all a mother to take all the brunt right from conceiving to delivering ultimately with much understanding hubby always beside her  all through. No need was felt for 'Nauran'/naming ceremony with some Pundit invited. As for making 'Tippan'/horoscope like we had done for our kids, we had the time recorded by the hospital heard the announcement with musical ring that fateful morning of the auspicious day waiting in the hospital lounge. This was also mentioned in the Birth Certificate, which was enough for the purpose. With this known, horoscope-making was left with her in-laws back home at Palakkad in Kerala to take care of in most appropriate way deemed necessary to get 'janma-kundali' for their 'sundhari kutty'. Simply the new arrival seeing the light of the day on her mother's birthday was enough for us to bring home the joy utmost and fate sublime. For her it was the best possible birthday gift ever she could dream of! What more we could hope as it was the happiest day ever since we married off our daughter - All because two souls fell in love!
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Besides the security and name tags for the new born, her foot print was also taken for record and given to the parents. Identical name tag at mother's wrist was tallied every time baby was brought back from the Nursery room for feeding needed at night. Many people love to have the ink-impressions of  hand as well along with baby's photograph for record and as a room decoration as well.We chose 4th of July the date for this present day ritual for the baby with the tag Born in the US of America. A photographer was available in the hospital to give professional service for baby's photos even though friends and relatives visiting take many with the baby and proud parents there. Bouncing back to life, few weeks later another professional was hired for photography session that lasted for four hours at a stretch to give that wonderful results to cherish for long. Her patience with sleeping baby and pains to take shots all possible ways brought us some brilliant results that impressed the photographer, a mother of four kids, herself too. How could the grandparents go without, they too get photographed with the baby and her proud parents together.  
Birth certificate was received within a week  baby arrived in our world and next step was to apply for a passport to ease little angel's travel home-bound at an earliest to meet all there waiting eagerly.
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Only mother knows the pain and joy as well of being adored with the supreme power of nature bringing a new life to the earth by the virtue of motherhood only a woman can experience and deliver. To give birth to her own kind, a baby girl is the rare experience not all can achieve and here our daughter was delivering on the first opportunity itself. We parents feel  amply rewarded for the long wait all these years. Nature has at last been so generous enough to bless us all. It is perhaps for this reason they have maternal pattern of society for the Nairs and many others in Kerala. Very much like the one we have in Meghalaya from the north east region of the country, while our own in Nepal with some families still have to come out of the clutches of social stigma attached. As per custom there, when a baby is born the joy is shared with the mother's family by sending - betel nuts 12 nos., jaggery one block, fennel 200 grams, ghee one packet, ginger one piece, salt one piece, nutmeg 12 nos. with some vermilion. If a baby girl, all these items but nuts, nutmeg and jaggery are sent in broken halves to know so easily. Was this sign by any means related to broken halves of the coconut for the Peredhil ceremony of the Nair?! These are sent on a bronze or any other plate with leaf and are sent back with equal quantity added. When we were in Kathmandu last time, Ranjana's niece was narrating the pain being in patriarchal society her experience bearing a daughter each time half a buffalo head was sent as per family's custom. For the second one and to baffle one whole buffalo head was  sent instead in anguish. Both of  her daughters are growing smart doing very well than their cousins to make the mother proud of and to prove everyone all wrong.
 
'The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved.' We had to wait for almost a month for the naming ceremony as per the custom followed by the Nair family, which is known as Peredhil, held  on the 28th Day of the birth known as Noolukettu in Malayalam. Elder brother Vipin with Swapna and Arnav  had come all the way from Houston, Texas to be with the family and bless the new-born on this auspicious occasion. As the scheduled flight was cancelled they had to stay overnight in a hotel at the airport but they could catch early flight next morning to be here on time for the ceremony.

Whatever name you give, this way or that, the baby is  yours always. In our system, Nauran is done on 5th or11th day for girl while it is 6th or 12th day for boy. Whereas Peredhil is usually done on 28th day for girls and on 27th for boys - significant to note the weightage changed.  Simple was the naming ceremony of Peredhil when the parents in their traditional attire were seated on the floor with bare baby in mother's lap. In their front was the auspicious lamp with kalash and puja thali with betel leaves and broken halves of coconut in front of them. Besides a tray with some customary articles like jadi-butti (nutmeg, majhiphal, dried stem and root pieces), black holy threads, black  bangles and panch-dhatu anklets sent by grandparents in Palakkad especially for the ceremony. Black holy thread was tied around the waist of the baby decorated with bangles and anklets. Highlight of the naming ceremony was when it was mother first to whisper the name in baby's right ear with left one covered with betel leaf and repeating it in the other with one covered. Next was father's turn to do so with rest of the family members following thereafter.

Since it was a week day, a typical Malayalam feast waited for friends invited for dinner. Not only the menu was elaborate with all delicacies home-made right from sambhar, pachadi made of pineapple, kooto curry of black gram, kalan tusi of horse gram and pumpkin, thoran of cabbage, ada payasam, avial of mixed vegetable, olan of mango, injipuli of mango and ginger, achar of raw mango, banana chips, sharkara uppiri besides papadam. All were seated on the floor and meal was served on banana leaf. Wondered how these leaves were arranged - these plastic ones were brought all the way from Palakkad by the in-laws during last visit especially for such traditional functions. When visiting Kerala in 2014 we had the rare opportunity to have a taste of these delicious preparations besides kind hospitality from the Nair family. So it was but natural for us to look forward quite eagerly to have the taste once again as such occasions come very rare. Our knowledge in this regard being limited to dosa, idli, sambar, wada, rasam and to the most papadam, our daughter who had by now familiarized herself with the cuisine all these years helped to get the names listed above. It being very common to see a tulsi-math in courtyard of every Hindu home in Kerala, we were not surprised to find that non-vegetarian items excluded in this ceremony like in all their religious rituals. This is quite in contrast with the Newars as we have meat, fish and wine for every occasion of joy right from naming ceremony to that of sorrow (while purification ritual done) as well when we give 'sagan' with all those items. Even alcoholic beverage was, as such, not served on this occasion as well. Otherwise also most of the present on this occasion were not in habit of consuming intoxicating drinks. Such a practice is, however, not a taboo but an essential part of many rituals and every festivity back home in our society. Most remarkable contrast with ours is that for the Malayalam Hindu family beef is not something to shun. It is understood to be very much a part of their culture to relish like the fish they love so much. Friends are surprised to find that while beef is a taboo, buffalo meat is popular with many in Nepal.
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Disclaimer: This is author’s personal account of memories updated to cherish and treasure often on a detour here and there en route to share the joy of the journey called life. Some names (*asterisk for those no more), quotes, places and events mentioned are just to connect with and no malice whatsoever intended. He can be reached at [email protected]. His latest "The Newars World~Wide Connecting the Dots : Sikkim" is available at Rachna Books.

As life slowly but gradually moves ahead, it has to adopt various means to enter into with processes we usually practise as a part of the rituals of the society we are in. Marriage brings two souls together and the rest is story to steer ahead into future hopeful. Soon / not so soon the couple is blessed with a child to bind them together to face more challenges that make new life of realities with the bundle of joy immense added in the family. She/he is the centre of attraction with attention of all there whenever baby cries out every one reaches to see what has happened. "Unless a baby cries out even mother would not feed her" is the common maxim when some voice in protest is raised against something going wrong in the society - how appropriate!

Home they bring the little doll, a bundle of joy immense swaddled and cuddled up in the car-seat (without which hospital authorities would not hand you over the baby) waiting whole morning to be welcomed by the  drizzle auspicious many like us believe so. Parents usher in the little goddess home. We welcome them with traditional 'mangal ghat' at the doorway and offer prayer for their well-being like done back home. New-born in the hospital gets a tag around the wrist as identity with identical band for mother as well. She already had one computer printed while getting admitted and also the person accompanying her gets one. Girl Shresta is the name hospital gave to the new born for this purpose. Of the other two bands one with QR code on her right leg is for the hospital records while the other on the left security tag - anyone trying to take the baby out of the room it starts giving beep sound as alarm to alert all there. Soon thereafter the baby gets the name mother had in mind ever since she came across the word while reading books she loves to. She started with typical Newar names with quite fascinating ones like Rajmati, Lahana, Lasata, Palpasa, Hisila, Nugah, Khusi, etc.  she also looked for Hindu/i names even besides many other choices but the decision ultimately arrived at was to match their life here. As for her own name, even today people ask whether the name Rachna (her grandfather gave) she got it first or the other way round after the much loved bookshop Rachna Books. Raman loves it best to leave unanswered to make his friends perplexed as ever before. Very much like the riddle "whether egg came first or the hen" though many believe it being named after her. Like her brother, she too is fond of reading right from thumb-sucking childhood and in the first opportunity gets cuddled in her room with a book to read. After reaching the target of 40 books in the previous year, she had 50 this time but it was something different though. Her own life story - preparing for the bundle of joy - best was to look forward the untold to unfold. Four months through the expectant mother could know that she was rearing up inside her body the baby girl dreamt of since long - not without much hurdle of/or the ordeal life brings in. For us it was a dream come true in the real sense! 
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During the Book Preview of 'The Newars World~Wide Connecting the dots : Sikkim' held at Rachna, Ganesh had mentioned that in 150 years of the advent of the Newars in Sikkim, our third generation not yet through and very much amongst us unlike many who have reached twice or more the figure of their offspring within this period. While "the normal or average time between two such generations of a species: about 35 years for humans", our pace tells the story otherwise. We are slow breeders but proud to be so lucky as for ourselves many of us may not live that age to make our progeny that lucky enough. This we could easily attribute for our children getting married late and taking their own time even to procreate in spite of the fast pace with which life advances. Further, equally disturbing is the growing trend of one child pattern of nuclear family that has made the call from the concerned to have at least two children to cope with  challenges the state facing. This leaves many perplexed of those with more than one wife helping breed more. When young it was quite disturbing to find family with kids more than half a dozen - some added trying for a son while mine was opposite to see cousins trying for a daughter. How would they rear them all up at a time when things were not supposed to be quite easy. Coming this far, I find most of them well-settled with many if their next generation crossing the shores to find them here in the US and elsewhere as well. More the merrier as they all prove those believing small is beautiful all wrong. Delay breeds in contempt many raising eyebrows doubting the capability to procreate even. There are those trying their best with options available and all fertility facilities to seek help. Yet couples are deprived of a child to add number to the population clock. So,  motherhood is blissful supreme that makes many like me to be proud of to be thus fortunate enough convincing yet once again, better late than never as we all know!

Another thing to quiz many of young minds until their marriage and begetting offspring would certainly be doubting oneself if he/she possess the power to procreate  and have a child of their own. To prove oneself being potent could always make one have a child earliest but for this too one has to tie the marital knot as per accepted norm of the society. Worst comes worst, there is always the option to adopt a child. We have a case being blessed so, after years of such a wise step to be proud of coming thus far. A couple who lost their young school-going sons in a natural calamity could bring back the joy by reverting the surgery she had undergone before. Some babies are born premature for various health reasons but they too survive the initial struggle inside the incubator - not less than a miracle of the modern medical science - to come through and bring joy not only to the parents but entire family.Surrogacy is another method couple resort to for cases extreme and hopeful rush back home to avail the same considering the huge expenditure involved here. Life is beautiful to those who believe and appreciate. Unfortunate are those stories to hear of the sad loss due to negligence at the time of birth to leave all the dream shattered.
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Those were the days when it was not expected to dream about the baby before birth. "Nani paunu kahile kahile, kokro bunnu ahile" roughly equalizing to the maxim "cart before the horse." So in good old days, we did not talk and think much about the baby's swaddle as old cotton sari or soft muslin cloth in home would serve the purpose immediately and flannel sheets and other essentials were purchased later. 'Thangna' used to be norm of the day decorating the clothesline in the sun that indicated new arrival in the family to the neighbourhood. Diapers and wipes taking over to make life easy and convenient that helped save cleaning mess and washing clothes every time. This baby arrived home with everything needed planned and purchased all in advance understanding well that there would be hardly any time left to think about anything else than the baby and the baby alone! 
New born was not exposed much as the baby was kept aside the convalescing mother at least till the purification period and Nauran usually of 5 days for baby girl or 6 days for baby boy . Customarily, some perform this rite on 10th day or even on 11th day while some even on 4th day. Such function is, however, not done on Monday and Wednesday. If  it is first child  born in the family, Nauran is done by some on 4th day itself. In earlier days, soon after the delivery mother and baby were made to sit in the straw-mat. These days birth taking place in hospital, there is no such practice but some hay is put beneath the pillow symbolically. Both mother and baby are given bath and body massage by grandma twice a day right from the birth till 10th day purification. They are warmed by burning dried barks of sugarcane. Deities are worshipped and prasad/offering is kept at 12 different places of the house including the main entrance and rest of the sweets are distributed among the children. Thereafter, both father and mother are made to sit together when the baby is handed over to them. This is followed by the ritual of giving them Sagan. A feast is held to celebrate the occasion with close relatives invited.

We had this purification ritual on tenth day, a Sunday. New parents with the baby seated on the floor with twelve lighted diyas around, puja performed solemnly with 'sukunda' and 'kalash' praying for their well-being. Tika as our blessings to the new parents with garments given for the baby. Thereafter, Phupu was seated and baby given by father. She too gets a gift to mark the happy occasion. Before the lunch was served, customary auspicious Khen Sagan comprising of an egg, bara, fish, dry-meat, some lintels, ginger and garlic pieces, curd and wine was given first to new parents and to all present thereafter to celebrate the occasion. A new family life is thus augured and as we enter their home welcome note aptly announcing - All because two people fell in love!        ~~~
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Disclaimer: This is author’s personal account of memories updated to cherish and treasure often on a detour here and there en route to share the joy of the journey called life. Some names (*asterisk for those no more), quotes, places and events mentioned are just to connect with and no malice whatsoever intended. He can be reached at [email protected]. His latest "The Newars World~Wide Connecting the Dots : Sikkim" is available at Rachna Books.